大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)考試寫作典型例文精彩點(diǎn)評(píng)(四)
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大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四六級(jí)報(bào)名、考試、查分時(shí)間 免費(fèi)短信提醒
2003年6月考試六級(jí)作文題：Changes of Ownership of Houses in China
圖表作文，圖表內(nèi)容是1990，1995，2000的公房和私房變化柱狀表，趨勢(shì)是公房越來越少，私房越來越多。
提綱：1.簡(jiǎn)單描述一下圖表內(nèi)容
2.變化原因
3.這個(gè)變化對(duì)個(gè)人和社會(huì)的影響
例1. (2分段)
此分段標(biāo)準(zhǔn)為條理不清，思路紊亂，大部分句子均有嚴(yán)重錯(cuò)誤。
為了不影響市容，給大家造成負(fù)面影響，故此處略去100字……
例2.(5分段)
It is descerned that(刪掉)the number of pirate(private) houses had been on a(an) increase from 1990 to 2000.In 1990, it was about 20 percent; In 1995 it was 40 percent; In 2000, it was 80 percent.
There were some reasons for this fact. One of them was the improvement of people’s living conditions(condition), all people wanted to own pirate houses.
On the other hand, people’s income was on a(an) increase, they could afford to buy pirate houses!
Obviously, there were some good things resulted from this fact. Such as it could improve Chinese economy. But there were also some bad things, such as it took much time to go to work!
點(diǎn)評(píng)：(1)本文基本切題。
(2)字?jǐn)?shù)不夠，要酌情扣分。
(2)第一段描述圖表不應(yīng)該單列舉出數(shù)字，而是考試大應(yīng)該重點(diǎn)描寫變化趨勢(shì) ;第二段說明理由不夠充分;第三段說明影響有點(diǎn)牽強(qiáng)。
(4)全文語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤較多。
例3.(8分段)
From the graph it is clear that the percentage of the state owned house in china in a city has decreased greatly from 75% in 1990 to 20% in 2000, while the private house has increased sharply. what has caused these changes?
There are, I think, at least two main reasons for these changes. to begin with, with the development of the technology and science, people"s living standard has improved greatly and they can afford to buy high-graded things such as TV, computer and even house. Secondly it is due to the mind people hold and the ecomonic policy. As is known to all, the price of house is often very high, and people must (used to) save their money (for) many years, (however,)as their minds changed, they went to the bank to borrow money and the ecomonic policy also encouraged them to do so. There may be some other reasons, but the above mentiond are commonly acceptable.
To conclude, the ownership of houses reflect the development of our country and people are enjoying a better life, I am firmly sure that the productivity of the society will keep improving and people will enjoy a more affluent life in the near future.
點(diǎn)評(píng)：(1)本文基本切題，考試大語(yǔ)句基本通順
(2)第一段描述圖表太簡(jiǎn)單，第二段有些地方表達(dá)思想不夠清楚，第三段太簡(jiǎn)單。
(3)不少語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤。
圖表作文，圖表內(nèi)容是1990，1995，2000的公房和私房變化柱狀表，趨勢(shì)是公房越來越少，私房越來越多。
提綱：1.簡(jiǎn)單描述一下圖表內(nèi)容
2.變化原因
3.這個(gè)變化對(duì)個(gè)人和社會(huì)的影響
例1. (2分段)
此分段標(biāo)準(zhǔn)為條理不清，思路紊亂，大部分句子均有嚴(yán)重錯(cuò)誤。
為了不影響市容，給大家造成負(fù)面影響，故此處略去100字……
例2.(5分段)
It is descerned that(刪掉)the number of pirate(private) houses had been on a(an) increase from 1990 to 2000.In 1990, it was about 20 percent; In 1995 it was 40 percent; In 2000, it was 80 percent.
There were some reasons for this fact. One of them was the improvement of people’s living conditions(condition), all people wanted to own pirate houses.
On the other hand, people’s income was on a(an) increase, they could afford to buy pirate houses!
Obviously, there were some good things resulted from this fact. Such as it could improve Chinese economy. But there were also some bad things, such as it took much time to go to work!
點(diǎn)評(píng)：(1)本文基本切題。
(2)字?jǐn)?shù)不夠，要酌情扣分。
(2)第一段描述圖表不應(yīng)該單列舉出數(shù)字，而是考試大應(yīng)該重點(diǎn)描寫變化趨勢(shì) ;第二段說明理由不夠充分;第三段說明影響有點(diǎn)牽強(qiáng)。
(4)全文語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤較多。
例3.(8分段)
From the graph it is clear that the percentage of the state owned house in china in a city has decreased greatly from 75% in 1990 to 20% in 2000, while the private house has increased sharply. what has caused these changes?
There are, I think, at least two main reasons for these changes. to begin with, with the development of the technology and science, people"s living standard has improved greatly and they can afford to buy high-graded things such as TV, computer and even house. Secondly it is due to the mind people hold and the ecomonic policy. As is known to all, the price of house is often very high, and people must (used to) save their money (for) many years, (however,)as their minds changed, they went to the bank to borrow money and the ecomonic policy also encouraged them to do so. There may be some other reasons, but the above mentiond are commonly acceptable.
To conclude, the ownership of houses reflect the development of our country and people are enjoying a better life, I am firmly sure that the productivity of the society will keep improving and people will enjoy a more affluent life in the near future.
點(diǎn)評(píng)：(1)本文基本切題，考試大語(yǔ)句基本通順
(2)第一段描述圖表太簡(jiǎn)單，第二段有些地方表達(dá)思想不夠清楚，第三段太簡(jiǎn)單。
(3)不少語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤。
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