新概念雙語：蠢哭：你是怎么弄壞你的筆記本的？

We recently asked people to tell us the stupidest ways they have broken their computers. Here are their stories.

最近我們請人們講了講自己那些弄壞電腦的最蠢行為。下面就是他們講述的故事。

1 Try not to cook your laptop

別用你的筆記本燒菜

I used my computer as a plate in the microwave when I was drunk.

有一次我喝醉了，把筆記本當(dāng)成了微波爐用的餐盤。

2 Don‘t whip your hair too enthusiastically

甩頭發(fā)的時候不要太熱情洋溢

My sophomore year of college， my roommate and I were making fun of Willow Smith‘s song “Whip My Hair”. I whipped a little too hard， and my laptop flew off my lap and crashed onto the floor. Not my proudest moment.

我大二的時候，有一次我和室友一起聽維羅·史密斯的歌《頭發(fā)甩甩》。我甩頭發(fā)用力過猛，以致我的筆記本從腿上飛了出去，砸到地上了。

3 Keep in mind that sometimes， even ants can‘t save you.

記住，有時候就算螞蟻也救不了你

I dropped a hot bowl of mashed potatoes on my laptop keyboard。 The keys all press themselves now. I put the laptop outside to try to save it by letting the ants eat the mashed potatoes， but the damage had already been done. The ants did a good job cleaning it out， though.

我不小心把一大碗熱乎乎的土豆泥倒在鍵盤上了。鍵盤上的按鍵都開始自行其是了。我把筆記本放在室外，希望螞蟻來吃掉土豆泥，我的筆記本就得救了，然而這也無濟(jì)于事。不過螞蟻還是幫我把鍵盤清理的蠻干凈的。

4 Never trust a cleanly infant.

絕不要信任有潔癖的寶寶

I was babysitting my cousin‘s son who was 3 or 4 at the time and had an obsession with cleaning EVERYTHING. Laptop was on the coffee table， glass of water on the end table. I left the room for no more than 3 minutes to use the bathroom。 When I re-entered the room， it was already too late; he had dumped the whole glass of water on the laptop. I yelled， “Seth， NO!” and the poor kid burst into tears and said， “I just wanted it clean it for you!”

那時我在看護(hù)我的侄兒子，他3、4歲的樣子，特別喜歡把每件東西都弄得干干凈凈。我的筆記本放在咖啡桌上，桌角有一杯水。我離開房間去衛(wèi)生間，用了不到三分鐘的時間。當(dāng)我再回到房間里的時候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)一切都太遲了：他已經(jīng)把一整杯水都倒在了我的筆記本上。我尖叫道：“賽斯，住手!”，而那個可憐的孩子則崩出淚水，說道“我只是想為你把它弄干凈!”

5 Don‘t be too whimsy.

別太神經(jīng)質(zhì)

I broke my laptop dancing in the rain. I was waiting for a ride home from class at my university and it was raining and so I jumped in the puddles like the toddler I am and when I got home I realized my backpack was soaked through and my laptop was dead.

我在雨中漫舞的時候弄壞了我的筆記本。那時我上完課準(zhǔn)備搭車回家，天上下著雨，我像小孩子一樣踩著水洼玩。到家時我才意識到我的背包濕透了，我的筆記本也完蛋了。

6 And don‘t forget that your laptop isn’t a cutting board。

別忘了你的筆記本不是裁紙板!

My desk was overflowing and I was going to cut some cardboard with a hobby knife. I decided to use my computer as my cutting board. Needless to say， I pushed that knife a bit too deep into the cardboard.

我的書桌上堆滿了東西，我想用裁紙刀裁幾張紙板。所以我決定用我的筆記本充當(dāng)裁紙板。不用說你也猜得到，我下刀力道大了些在裁紙板上刺得深了一點(diǎn)。

7 Be aware of the dangers of Britney Spears.

當(dāng)心小甜甜布蘭妮

I was watching Crossroads， with Britney Spears， and I put my glass of wine down on it to dance to “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” and got a little too into it. The wine spilled all over the keyboard and that was the end of that.

我在看小甜甜的電影處女作《布蘭妮要怎樣》，我把一杯紅酒放在筆記本上，跟著《我愛搖滾》(I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll)的樂曲跳起舞來，結(jié)果我有點(diǎn)太投入了。酒灑在鍵盤上，就是這樣了!

8 Try not to cash in all your bad karma at once.

試著阻止那些厄運(yùn)突然全部應(yīng)驗(yàn)

Leaving school， I put my laptop on the top of my car while loading my backpack into the back seat. While I was driving， I noticed something fly off of my car， and I realized that it was my laptop.

我正準(zhǔn)備離開學(xué)校，我把筆記本放在車頂上，然后把背包放進(jìn)后備箱。當(dāng)我把車開起來之后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)有什么東西從我的車上飛了出去，然后意識到那是我的筆記本!

9 And try not to be too sad.

試著別讓自己太傷心

Not me， but a friend got really homesick her first month of college and cried so much on her MacBook track pad that she gave it water damage.

我的一個朋友剛進(jìn)大學(xué)一個月那會兒特別想家，她對著自己的蘋果筆記本觸摸板不停的哭，結(jié)果她的筆記本就受潮了。