新概念雙語(yǔ)：職場(chǎng)宮心計(jì)：你確定別人真的信任你嗎

How Can You Tell if People Really Trust You?

你怎么知道別人真的信任你?

And does it really matter?

再者，這重要嗎?

There is a lot of discussion about trust these days. People are generally less trusting, tending to be more reserved and guarded about what they share and whom they share it with. We have seen many very public breaches of trust and deep down that is a fear most of us have.

近來(lái)，關(guān)于信任的討論鋪天蓋地。人們普遍變得越來(lái)越難相信別人，越來(lái)越保守，對(duì)自己分享的信息以及被分享的對(duì)象變現(xiàn)得越來(lái)越自我防衛(wèi)。我們見(jiàn)證過(guò)很多違法公眾信任的例子，而在我們的內(nèi)心深處，這也是我們大多數(shù)人都感到恐懼的。

When working with people, either as clients or colleagues, not being trusted can have dire consequences. It can result in lower client loyalty, less referrals, more client issues around billing, delivery of services and even fairly public backlashes on social media.

當(dāng)與他人共事，無(wú)論是客戶(hù)還是公司同事，如果不被信任，就會(huì)造成可怕的后果。這將會(huì)導(dǎo)致更低層次的顧客忠誠(chéng)度，更少商務(wù)推薦人，與客戶(hù)有更多金錢(qián)方面的糾紛，造成服務(wù)的傳遞缺失甚至社交媒體的公眾反彈效果。

Today we see entire industries that struggle with being trusted, due in no small part to their previous actions. Once trust is lost, it is very hard to regain.

今天我們看到各行各業(yè)正在信任的大海里掙扎，原因在于先前的細(xì)微失誤。信任一旦缺失，就很難重獲。

So how can you tell is someone really trusts you? Over the years I have found that trust can be determined by the type of information that people share with you. The more personal the information the more trusting the person is of you. This might sound obvious, but do you really stop to consider what those around you are sharing or perhaps trying to share but you are missing their hints.

那么你怎么知道他人是真正地信任你?經(jīng)過(guò)多年后筆者發(fā)現(xiàn)，信任的建立取決于信息分享的種類(lèi)。分享的信息越私人化，就代表你越被他人信任。也許這是非常明顯的，但是你是否真正靜下來(lái)思考過(guò)，有哪些在你身邊正分享的內(nèi)容或者那些正準(zhǔn)備分享的東西，而你正好錯(cuò)過(guò)了這些訊息。

Sharing personal information is a sign of their vulnerability. This is the kind of information that if shared to outside parties could result in them being embarrassed or even humiliated, or it might even have a direct impact on how their colleagues view them. This in turn could cause problems with career growth or even employment, depending on what the information that was revealed.

分享個(gè)人信息是個(gè)人脆弱性的標(biāo)志。這是一種只要分享到外界后，就會(huì)使得自身尷尬不安甚至被羞辱的信息，甚至還會(huì)直接到影響同事對(duì)他們的評(píng)價(jià)。轉(zhuǎn)而也會(huì)取決于何種信息被分享，而對(duì)個(gè)人的職業(yè)發(fā)展甚至職位去向造成各種問(wèn)題。

We might share private information because it's in our best interest. For example we tend to trust our Doctor, realizing that it makes sense to share information that could ultimately have an impact on our health. But to tell someone we work with, or someone who is advising us, something personal, is a big step and a leap of faith.

我們分享自己的隱私可能因?yàn)槟蔷褪俏覀兊淖畲笈d趣。例如，我們都會(huì)相信醫(yī)生，因?yàn)橐庾R(shí)到與醫(yī)生分享個(gè)人信息會(huì)最終對(duì)我們的個(gè)人健康產(chǎn)生影響。但是如果與同事分享這些信息，或與其他給予我們建議的人分享，這將會(huì)是信任度的巨大飛躍。

What if someone confides in you, but only to share gossip about someone in the office? Does this mean they trust you? Not really. This is more a conspiratorial move, where sharing gossip is done to build rapport.

但若是有人向你吐苦水，但僅僅是因?yàn)橄敫阏f(shuō)說(shuō)辦公室里的八卦呢?這個(gè)行為意味著對(duì)方信任你嗎?并不一定。這只是一個(gè)相對(duì)具有陰謀性質(zhì)的舉動(dòng)，在說(shuō)八卦的同時(shí)建立密切關(guān)系。

Personally I use the information that people share with me as a way to measure if I am trusted or not. If they are opening up and being very authentic and vulnerable, airing their own perceived faults and failings, I do everything in my power to respect the trust they have shown and I would never, ever do anything to betray it.

就筆者個(gè)人來(lái)說(shuō)，我會(huì)利用他人與我分享的這些信息以判斷他人是否信任我。如果他們保持開(kāi)放的態(tài)度以及真誠(chéng)和脆弱，能夠顯示自己意識(shí)到的錯(cuò)誤和失敗，我就會(huì)盡我所能尊重他們對(duì)我的信任，并且，我永遠(yuǎn)也絕不做任何違背他們信任的事情。

When it comes to sharing gossip, negative comments about other people, I don't engage. I send a very clear message that I am not interested in that kind of talk and I find that the gossipers soon realize this, they stop gossiping to me and start having far more authentic conversations.

當(dāng)談及講八卦消息或?qū)λ说呢?fù)面評(píng)論時(shí)，我都不會(huì)參與。我會(huì)明確表明自己對(duì)這些話(huà)題的討論并不感興趣，然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)那些始作俑者很快就意識(shí)到了，然后在我面前就不再說(shuō)八卦，并且與我開(kāi)展遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)真誠(chéng)的交談了。

The bottom line is that being trusted enough for others to confide in you at a personal level is a very good thing, in every way. Respect this trust, you have earned it. Over time it can become the backbone of your professional and personal reputation.

底線在于你給他人足夠的信任使他人向你吐露心聲，這是一件非常美好的事情，無(wú)論以何種方式。尊重這份信任，是你努力獲得的。很久后，就會(huì)成為你專(zhuān)業(yè)與個(gè)人名譽(yù)的強(qiáng)有力支柱。