Effective communication is one of the most important life skills we can learn—yet one we don't usually put a lot of effort into. Whether you want to have better conversations in your social life or get your ideas across better at work, here are some essential tips for learning to to communicate more effectively。
有效的交流技巧是我們可以學習的、生活中最重要的技巧之一。——但是我們一般都沒有把大量的精力放到這方面上。無論你是想在社交中能更好的交流，還是想在工作中更有效地把想法表達出來，都來看看下面的這些能幫你更有效交流的小技巧吧。
10. Watch Your Body Language
10.注意自己的身體語言
You tell your partner you're open to discussion but your arms are crossed; say you're listening but haven't looked up from your phone yet. Our non-verbal and non-written cues often reveal more than we think they do. Whether it's how you make eye contact or how you hold yourself during a video interview, don't forget that you're constantly communicating even when you're not saying a word. One strange way to tap into your body for better communication? Think about your toes. Or adopt a power pose if you need to boost your confidence before a big talk. Or learn how to read other people's body language so you can respond appropriately。
你告訴搭檔你愿意討論，但是你的胳膊卻交叉在一起;你在聽，但是卻在低著頭看手機。我們的非語言和非文字的線索往往比想象中泄露的信息還要多。無論是進行眼神交流，還是在視頻采訪中控制自己，都不要忘了，即便你一言不發(fā)，也是在不斷地交流。想不想知道一種用身體來更好交流的奇怪方式?那就是想想你的腳趾頭。或在進行一次重要談話前，使用能提升自信的姿勢。也可以學習一下如何讀懂他人的身體語言，這樣你能恰當?shù)鼗貞?yīng)。
9. Get Rid of Unnecessary Conversation Fillers
9.去除不必要的會話用語
Um's and ah's do little to improve your speech or everyday conversations. Cut them out to be more persuasive and feel or appear more confident. One way is to start keeping track of when you say words like "um" or "like." You could also try taking your hands out of your pockets or simply relaxing and pausing before you speak. Those silences seem more awkward to you than they do to others, trust us。
“恩”，“啊”對于改善你的演講或每天的對話來說作用不大。把它們?nèi)サ裟芨姓f服力，能讓你看起來更加自信。一種方式是觀察自己說“恩”或“啊”的時刻。你也可以試著把你的手從口袋里拿出來，或在說話前簡單地放松和暫停一下。相信我們，在那些沉默的時刻，你其實比他們要更尷尬。
8. Have a Script for Small Talk and Other Occasions
8.為閑談和其他對話提前想好內(nèi)容
Small talk is an art that not many people have mastered. For the inevitable, awkward silences with people you hardly know, it helps to have a plan. The FORD (family, occupation, recreation dreams) method might help you come up with topics to discuss, and you can also turn small talk into conversation by sharing information that could help you and the other person find common ground. Hey, all that small talk could make you happier in the long run。
閑談是一種藝術(shù)，掌握它的人不多。對于和那些你基本上不認識的人在一起時不可避免的、尷尬的沉默時刻，提前做個計劃很有幫助。FORD(家庭、職業(yè)、娛樂、夢想)方法能幫你想出討論的話題，你也可以和別人分享信息，這有助于你們找到共同話題，把閑談轉(zhuǎn)為會話。從長遠的角度上來看，所有的閑談都會讓你更加開心。
7. Tell a Story
7.講故事
Stories are powerful. They activate our brains, make presentations suck less, make us more persuasive, and can even help us ace interviews. Learn the secrets of becoming a phenomenal storyteller with these rules from Pixar or by simply using the word "but" more to structure your narrative. Everyone's got at least one great story in them。
故事的力量是很強大的。它們能激活我們的大腦，讓我們的演講不會太差，讓我們更有說服力，甚至能幫助我們在面試中脫穎而出�？梢詮钠た怂鼓抢飳W習如何能把故事講得精彩，或簡單地用“但是”來調(diào)整你的敘述結(jié)構(gòu)。每個人心中都至少有一個非常好的故事。
6. Ask Questions and Repeat the Other Person
6.問問題并重復他人的話
Let's face it, we've all drifted off when someone else was talking or misheard the other person. Asking questions and repeating the other person's last few words shows you're interested in what they say, keeps you on your toes, and helps clarify points that could be misunderstood (e.g., "So to recap, you're going to buy the tickets for Saturday?")。
讓我們面對現(xiàn)實吧，當別人在說話時，我們都會走神或聽錯話。問問題并重復他人最后說的幾句話表明你對他們說的話感興趣，這能幫你保持警覺，并有助于澄清容易誤解的地方(比如，“也就是說，你想買周六的票?”)
It also helps for small talk and to fill in awkward silences. Instead of trying to stir up conversation on mundane topics like the weather, ask the other person questions (e.g., "Got any plans for the summer?" or "What are you reading lately?") and engage in their answers. It's more important to be interested than to be interesting。
這樣也有助于閑談，能使得沉默的時刻不那么尷尬。除了可以用像天氣這樣單調(diào)的話題來展開談話，也可以問別人一些問題。(比如，“夏天有什么計劃?”或“最近在讀什么書?”)，并就他們的回答進一步展開。感興趣比有意思要重要得多。
5. Put Away the Distractions
5.去除干擾
It's pretty rude to use your phone while someone's talking to you or you're supposed to be hanging out with them. Maybe we can't get rid of all our distractions or put away technology completely, but just taking the time to look up could vastly improve our communication with each other。
當別人和你說話時，或你該和別人一起玩時，你在那里玩手機是不禮貌的行為。也許我們無法去除所有的干擾，或完全收起科技產(chǎn)品，但是拿出時間抬頭看看會極大地改善彼此間的交流。
4. Tailor Your Message to Your Audience
4.為你的聽眾量身定做消息
The best communicators adjust how they talk based on whom they're speaking to; you'd probably use a different style of communication with co-workers or your boss compared to when you're speaking with your significant other, kids, or elders. Always try to keep the other person's perspective in mind when you try to get your message across。
好的交流者根據(jù)談話的對象調(diào)整談話的方式;你和同事、老板間的交流方式與和愛人、孩子或老人的交流方式是不同的。當你嘗試表達自己的信息時，一定要把別人的視角記在心里。
3. Be Brief Yet Specific
3.要簡明、具體
There's actually a BRIEF acronym—Background, Reason, Information, End, Follow-up—to help you keep your emails short without leaving anything out. It's a good policy for both written and verbal communication (I've always felt that my job as a writer was to clearly get the point across and then get off the page as soon as possible. Just two more items on this list!) Clear and concise are two of the 7 Cs of communication, along with concrete, correct, coherent, complete, and courteous。
實際上有一個縮寫B(tài)RIEF-Background(背景)、Reason(原因)、Information(信息)、End(結(jié)尾)、Follow-up(后續(xù)內(nèi)容)能讓你的電子郵件簡明而不遺漏信息。無論是書面交流還是口頭交流，這都是一個不錯的策略。(作為一名作家，我總是認為我的工作就是把要點清晰地表達出來，然后盡早結(jié)束。這個清單上還剩下兩項內(nèi)容!)Clear(清晰)、concise(簡明)是交流的7個C中的2個，其他5個分別是：concrete(具體)、correct(準確)、coherent(連貫)、complete(完整)、courteous(客氣)。
2. Up Your Empathy
2.培養(yǎng)共鳴
Communication is a two-way street. If you practice taking the opposing viewpoint, you can reduce the difficulty and anxiety that sometimes arises when trying to truly communicate with others. (For example, knowing what your significant other really means when she says she's too tired to talk。) Developing empathy helps you better understand even the unspoken parts of your communication with others, and helps you respond more effectively。
交流是雙向的。如果你練習從相反的觀點看問題，那么當你試著和別人交流而發(fā)生意見不一致的情況時，你就不會覺得那么困難或那么焦慮。(例如，當你的另一半說她太累了，不想說話時，你明白她所表達的含義。)培養(yǎng)共鳴能幫助你更好理解你和別人交流時非語言的部分，并幫助你更有效地回應(yīng)。
1. Listen, Really Listen
1.傾聽，真正地傾聽
Finally, going hand-in-hand with most of the points above, the best thing you can do to improve your communication skills is to learn to really listen—to pay attention and let the other person talk without interrupting. It's hard work, we know, but "A good conversation is a bunch of words elegantly connected with listening." Then, even if your communication styles don't match, at least you're both working off the same page. And hopefully the other person will be attentively listening to you too。
最后，和上面幾點緊密聯(lián)系的、你可以做的最好的事情就是通過真正地傾聽來改善你的交流技巧——在別人說話時認真聽別人說并不打斷別人。我們知道，這很難，但“好的會話是詞匯和傾聽的優(yōu)雅結(jié)合。” 即便你們的交流方式不匹配，通過傾聽你也能明白對方的含義。當然也希望別人能專心聽你說。
