Parties and social gatherings can be great for you to meet new friends, but if your shyness prevents from being able to talk to people, then it’s gonna be hard to make friends with anyone. In this article, I want to share with you a set of effective techniques on how to overcome shyness at a party or social get together. Be sure to practice these the next time you’re out。
派對(duì)和社交聚會(huì)對(duì)于你結(jié)交新朋友是非常好的，但是你的羞澀若有礙你去同他們交談，那么要和他們交朋友也就難了。在這篇短文里，我想和你分享一套有效的技巧，如何在派對(duì)和社交聚會(huì)上克服羞澀。下次出門(mén)時(shí)記得要實(shí)踐。
1. Focus Outside To Stop Crippling Thoughts
關(guān)注外界，消除無(wú)益想法
Negative thoughts are at the root of the problem, so the only way to stop dwelling on them is to replace them by something else. That’s why it’s a great way to focus outside of yourself, rather than run negative thoughts over and over。
消極想法是問(wèn)題的根源，所以根除的唯一方法是用其它想法取代它們。這就是這種好方法的原因，關(guān)注外部世界，而不是讓消極的想法在腦子里時(shí)不時(shí)地浮現(xiàn)。
If you want to get out of your head, you can ask yourself questions that will get your mind to focus outwardly. Try asking yourself things like: “What’s interesting here?” or “What do I find interesting in this place?”
如果你想消除那些想法，你可以問(wèn)自己一些使大腦關(guān)注外界的問(wèn)題。不妨這樣問(wèn)自己：“這里面什么是有趣的?”或者“我能從中找到什么有趣的嗎?”
2. Don’t Face The Crowd
不要面對(duì)人群
If you get shy, a better way to feel good is to avoid staying up and facing the most crowded place. Instead, try to stand so you’re facing a less crowded part of the room。
如果你害羞，一種能讓你感覺(jué)良好的更好的方法是避免站在最擁擠的人群里面對(duì)他們。試著站在人員稍微稀少的地方。
Since shyness results in over-stimulation of your brain, you need to give yourself less things to focus on. This will inevitably calm you, even if you’re in a very crowded place. As soon as you’re not really paying attention to the crowd, you don’t really feel the pressure。
既然羞澀會(huì)造成大腦的過(guò)度興奮，那你需要減少關(guān)注量。即使你在人群很擁擠的地方，這一定會(huì)讓你冷靜下來(lái)。一旦你不去關(guān)注人群，你就感覺(jué)不到壓力了。
3. “Dumb Down” Your Communication Style
簡(jiǎn)化你的溝通風(fēng)格
Shyness also comes from putting too much pressure on yourself to be interesting and impressive. If you want to feel more comfortable, try a technique that most successful communicators use。
羞澀也來(lái)自你給了自己太多的壓力，比如你想要給別人留下風(fēng)趣和深刻的印象。如果你想更舒心，試試大多數(shù)成功溝通者在使用的技巧。
This is about talking and acting in a way that is more random, and not that intelligent. Speak as though you’re not sure of a lot of things, or as if you’re too tired to talk about serious subjects. This creates a certain comfortable energy around you, and it encourages low-key conversations. It makes people see you as a regular and open-minded person, not a snob。
這種技巧說(shuō)的是言談舉止要更為隨意，而不是去顯擺。交談時(shí)，要表現(xiàn)得自己好像對(duì)很多事都不確定，或自己不想談?wù)撨^(guò)于嚴(yán)肅的話題，這會(huì)給你創(chuàng)造一種舒適的氛圍，鼓勵(lì)你進(jìn)行低調(diào)的談話。別人會(huì)覺(jué)得你是一個(gè)隨意開(kāi)放的人，而不是一個(gè)虛偽勢(shì)利的人。
4. Go Early To Make Yourself Feel At Home
早點(diǎn)到讓自己熟悉環(huán)境
Another great way to overcome shyness at a party is to get there early and talk to anyone you find. Go early, order something, talk with the staff or the bartender. Make yourself “at home” before everyone else comes. This simple switch will make it ten times easier for you to feel comfortable throughout the night。
另一種克服羞澀的方法是早點(diǎn)到派對(duì)，和你看到的人聊聊天。早點(diǎn)到，點(diǎn)些吃的，同員工或酒保說(shuō)說(shuō)話。在其他人來(lái)之前，就讓自己擁有一種在家里的自在感覺(jué)。這個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的小把戲會(huì)非常容易讓你做到在整個(gè)晚上過(guò)得舒心愜意。
As more and more folks come to join, you’ll be increasingly getting comfortable with the number of people. This is mainly because you warmed up and prepared your mood for conversation。
隨著越來(lái)越多的人加入，你面對(duì)很多人也會(huì)越來(lái)越舒適。這主要是因?yàn)槟阕龊脽嵘�，并�?zhǔn)備好了對(duì)話的情緒狀態(tài)。
5. Cheer Someone Up
鼓舞他人
Another aspect of parties that can make you shy is the idea that every one knows one another. This impression is usually false. Popular and loud people tend to get more attention, and if you focus on them, it’s easy to get that impression。
派對(duì)使你羞怯的另一方面是你會(huì)覺(jué)得每個(gè)人都知道彼此，這種觀念通常來(lái)說(shuō)是錯(cuò)的。受歡迎、嗓門(mén)大的人似乎會(huì)得到更多關(guān)注，如果你只把注意力集中到他們身上，就會(huì)很容易產(chǎn)生這種錯(cuò)誤觀念。
At the same time, if you notice others, you’ll see that there are people who come alone, and hope to be able to meet anyone. If they look friendly but hesitant to talk to anyone, go to them and ask a basic question, and see if they’re open to talking。
與此同時(shí)，如果你留意到了其他人，你會(huì)看到有人是單獨(dú)來(lái)的，他們希望能結(jié)交到朋友。如果他們看起來(lái)很親切但在猶豫要不要和別人聊天，那就走過(guò)去來(lái)句寒暄，看他們是不是愿意聊。
6. How to Overcome Shyness by Having a Plan-B
準(zhǔn)備B計(jì)劃
A great way to feel comfortable at a party is to avoid feeling as though you have to stay. If you’ve been invited by someone, for example, it’s good to state that you might be obligated to leave soon, because you have another thing to do. That thing can be anything, and it will make you overcome your shyness by knowing that, at least you can get out if you feel too nervous。
想要在聚會(huì)上感覺(jué)良好，就需要避免那種“我必須得待在這里” 的勉強(qiáng)感覺(jué)。比如說(shuō)如果你已經(jīng)受到他人邀請(qǐng)，你可以提前對(duì)主人表示你可能要早些離開(kāi)，因?yàn)槟氵�有其它事要處理。這件事可以是任何事，這能讓你克服你的羞澀，因?yàn)槟阒廊绻愀杏X(jué)緊張了，至少你可以離開(kāi)。
