Everyone deals with discouragement at some point in their life. It’s part of what makes the human experience rich—the highs and the lows. If we didn’t experience the lows, then we wouldn’t appreciate the highs。
每個(gè)人都有灰心喪氣的時(shí)候。正是這段時(shí)光充實(shí)了我們的人生經(jīng)歷-高潮低谷。如果我們不經(jīng)歷低谷又怎么能達(dá)到人生高潮呢。
Discouragement, disappointment, failure, and setbacks—these are all things that can help us if we maintain an empowering mindset. The key to life is to learn from these experiences, and minimize the amount of time that we allow ourselves to stay discouraged. So the next time you start to feel discouragement, here is what you should do:
灰心，失望，失敗和挫折-都是能幫助我們保持堅(jiān)強(qiáng)心態(tài)的東西。生命的秘訣在于從這些經(jīng)歷中學(xué)習(xí)，減少我們持續(xù)萎靡灰心喪氣的時(shí)間。所以下次覺得低落的時(shí)候，試著干干這些：
1. Take the long view
從長遠(yuǎn)的角度看
Discouragement generally occurs when our expectations (what we think should happen) don’t align with reality (what actually happens). In many cases our expectations are unrealistic, and this often has to do with how long we think things should happen. If we take a longer view, and relax our expectations a little, it can really help to decrease discouragement. The reality is that most things that are worthwhile take a lot of effort and time to come to fruition. So be patient!
當(dāng)我們的期望(我們覺得應(yīng)該發(fā)生的事情)沒有變成現(xiàn)實(shí)(實(shí)際發(fā)生的事情)，我們就會(huì)失望。在很多情況下，我們的期望都是不切實(shí)際的，這也和我們對(duì)時(shí)間的預(yù)估有著一定的關(guān)系。如果我們從長遠(yuǎn)去看，放低一下期望，也能有效減輕我們的失落感。事實(shí)是最值得我們付出努力和時(shí)間最重要的事情就是等著好結(jié)果。所以耐心點(diǎn)吧!
2. Remember, there is no such thing as failure. There is only education
記住!沒有真正的失敗，只是成長教育而已。
When we feel like we have failed at something, discouragement often follows. However, failure doesn’t really exist, except for the meaning that we give it. If we don’t get the result that we want, when we want it, we just need to take new action。
當(dāng)認(rèn)為我們在某些事失敗之后，低落感也隨之而來。然而，失敗并不真正的存在，除非我們給事情賦予了失敗的含義。如果我們沒有及時(shí)得到想要的結(jié)果，只需要采取新的行動(dòng)。與其把失敗當(dāng)成是一件壞事，
We can choose, instead of thinking of failure as bad, to think of failure as education, and therefore good. When we view it this way we realize that failure isn’t something that is bad, or something to be avoided. It is simply feedback. When we think this way we ease discouragement。
我們可以選擇把失敗看成是一種沉成長教育，一件好事。如果這樣看待問題，我們就會(huì)知道失敗并不是什么壞事或者需要盡力避免的事情。只是一個(gè)小挫折而已。這樣想，低落感就能減輕啦。
3. Stay true to our vision. See it again in our mind
不拋棄理想，再做一次白日夢吧
If we are feeling discouraged, think about our vision. Think about what we want to create in our life. See it clearly. Feel what it would feel like if the image came into reality. What would this mean for us? How would we feel. Once we see it, and feel it, we will also feel empowered and our discouragement will dissipate。
感到沮喪的時(shí)候，想想自己的理想。想想我們想要獲得些什么。仔細(xì)的去想，感受一下如果夢想成真會(huì)是什么感受。對(duì)我們會(huì)意味著什么?我們會(huì)有什么樣的心情。一旦我們?nèi)セ孟�，去感受，就�?huì)感到充滿了力量，沮喪也就煙消云散了。
4. Don’t let our ego get in the way of our development
不要讓自負(fù)阻礙了自我的發(fā)展
Our ego is often the primary cause of our feelings of disappointment and discouragement. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can control our ego. When we do this, we are on the path of development. When we are internally strong enough to handle constructive criticism, and feedback, we receive the rewards of growth. Growth leads to happiness。
自負(fù)往往是造成失落感和沮喪的最主要緣由。其實(shí)并不一定要這樣，我們可以控制自己。一旦控制了，我們就已經(jīng)邁向了進(jìn)步的階梯。一旦我們真正有能力去面對(duì)處理那些批判、挫折，我們就會(huì)得到成長的禮物。成長的盡頭是幸福。
5. Stop comparing ourself to others. We’re on a unique path
不要和別人比較，我們都是獨(dú)一無二的
A sure fire, 100% guaranteed way to get discouraged is to focus on other people in a comparative way. Here is why: we generally see their victories, successes, and strengths. We see what they have and what we don’t. We see why they are better than us. When we do this we get discouraged and we feel sorry for ourselves. We don’t as easily see their struggles, their fears, their setbacks, and their failures。
毫無疑問，一直把自己和別人比較絕對(duì)會(huì)讓我們低落。為什么呢：我們往往看到的都是他們的成果、成功和優(yōu)點(diǎn)。我們看到的是他們有我們卻沒有的部分，我們看到的是為什么他們比我們優(yōu)秀。一旦這樣，我們就很容易感到失望為自己感到難受。同時(shí)，我們很少去關(guān)注他們的掙扎、害怕，挫折和失敗。
So don’t do it. It isn’t empowering. Don’t compare. We are on a unique path. It is great to be inspired by another, but if by hearing another’s story, we feel that we are lesser, then we need to just focus on our own path。
所以不要這樣了，這只會(huì)讓你更加泄氣。不要比較，我們都是獨(dú)一無二的存在著。讓別人去激勵(lì)你固然好，但如果別人的故事讓你覺得自身有所不足，那么只需要專注自己就好了。
6. Detach from rewards, focus on our actions and giving our best work
忘掉所謂的獎(jiǎng)賞，專注于行動(dòng)，付出最大的努力
If our sole motivation for doing something is the reward that we might get from the action, then we are setting ourselves up for discouragement. Action should be its own reward. When it is, we are forever free. Freedom is at the heart of happiness. When we don’t need someone else’s praise for doing something, when we don’t need a “carrot” for performing our work, then we are truly free to just focus on our work and make it great. When we create great work we are happy。
如果我們做某件事唯一的動(dòng)力在于可能會(huì)獲得的獎(jiǎng)賞，那么我們就不知覺走上了一條失望之路。行為本身就值得被獎(jiǎng)賞。這樣一來，我們永遠(yuǎn)都是“自由之身”，自由是幸福的核心。如果在做一件事時(shí)不需要?jiǎng)e人的褒獎(jiǎng)，也不需要對(duì)工作肯定的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，那么我們就真的能夠?qū)Ｗ⒂诠ぷ髯龅阶詈�。一旦取得進(jìn)步會(huì)非常開心。
7. Change our “rules” for being happy
改變自己的“規(guī)定”獲得幸福
What rule do we have to be happy? What has to happen for us to feel successful? Is it in our control? If it isn’t then we might be setting ourselves up for failure. By rules I mean the set of circumstances that must be present for us to feel accomplished。
什么時(shí)候會(huì)感到幸福?發(fā)生什么樣的事情會(huì)讓我們覺得成功?這在我們的掌控之中么?如果不是，那我們也許就把自己推向了失敗的不歸路。所謂的規(guī)定，我指的是一些必須能讓我們感到成功的特定場景。
We have to create rules that serve us. We have to live by rules that are within our control. Here are some of my rules: I am successful when I grow and improve. I am successful when I give my very best。
我們需要為自己制造規(guī)定，我們需要遵循這些可以由自己掌控的規(guī)則。比如我的規(guī)則是：只要我成長進(jìn)步就是成功，只要我付出努力就是成功。
8. Consider who we are spending time with
想想我們該花時(shí)間和誰在一起
The people who we spend the most time with might be a major contributing factor to feeling discouragement. This can be a very hard one, especially if those people are family and loved ones. We have a tendency to become who we most frequently associate with, and if we spend all our time with people who are constantly negative, and feeling sorry for themselves, we can be influenced to see life through a similar lens。
和我們相處最久的那些人也許是帶來沮喪的最大因素。這聽起來不大舒服，尤其是他們會(huì)是家人或愛人。我們總會(huì)不知覺的變成身邊最親近人的樣子，如果我們一直和消極的人在一起，為他們感到難過，我們也會(huì)被影響和他們一樣去看待生活。
So what can we do? We can’t simply cut loved ones out of our lives. So what we should do is simply expand our social network. Join a peer group that is positive. Start to surround ourselves with positive people as a balance. Over time we will start to take on their mindset and this will help with any feelings of discouragement we may have。
那該怎么辦呢?我們不能簡單的把愛人排除在生活之外。所以能做的就是擴(kuò)大自己的社交圈。加入積極的同齡人小組。讓周圍充滿了正能量的人作為平衡。不知不覺我們就會(huì)吸取這些正能量，也能幫助我們減少沮喪感。
9. Get outside, move and breathe
出去活動(dòng)一下，呼吸新鮮空氣
Fresh air and sunshine can have an amazing effect on our feelings. Sometimes when we are feeling down, all that we need to do is simply to go outside and breathe. Movement and exercise is also a fantastic way to feel better. Positive emotions can be generated by motion. So if we start to feel down, take some deep breathes, go outside, feel the fresh air, let the sun hit our face, go for a hike, a walk, a bike ride, a swim, a run, whatever. We will feel better if we do this。
新鮮空氣和陽光真的能給我們帶來不一樣的感受。當(dāng)我們覺得沮喪時(shí)，只需要簡單的走出去呼吸新鮮空氣。運(yùn)動(dòng)鍛煉能讓心情變好，好的心情能帶來更多積極的情緒。如果我們覺得低落，那么就深呼吸，去郊外看看，感受新鮮的空氣，享受陽光的沐浴、遠(yuǎn)足、散步、騎車或是游泳跑步，什么都可以。只有這樣做絕對(duì)會(huì)很開心。
10. Talk to our mentor
和導(dǎo)師對(duì)話
Our mentor can be a great source of wisdom when we are feeling down. So when discouragement rears its ugly head, go have a coffee with our mentor. They will be able to give us wisdom based on experience. In many cases they will also give us tough love and help us to snap out of it if we are feeling sorry for ourselves. They will also help us to make a specific plan of action to work our way out of discouragement。
在沮喪時(shí)，導(dǎo)師是我們最大的智慧之源。所以當(dāng)失落感悄然到來，跟導(dǎo)師一起喝杯咖啡吧。他們能夠根據(jù)自己的經(jīng)驗(yàn)給我們一些智慧提示。很多時(shí)候，他們給予我們的愛和關(guān)懷能幫助我們走出自卑，也會(huì)幫我們制定詳細(xì)的計(jì)劃來走出沮喪。
11. Go find someone who we can help
去找那些需要我們幫助的人
This is a great way to alleviate discouragement. Go find someone who needs help, and then help them. It is really that simple. When we serve others, when we go out of our way to help other people in need, we feel better. It is impossible to be discouraged when we are giving all our efforts on behalf of another. Discouragement is a really a self-driven symptom. We are focusing on ourselves. That is why we feel bad. However, when we stop thinking about ourselves, and when we direct our attention to another, we feel better。
這是減少沮喪最好的方式。找那些需要幫助的人，然后幫助他們吧。這真的非常簡單。在服務(wù)別人的時(shí)候，在幫助那些需要幫助的人時(shí)，我們也會(huì)開心。當(dāng)全身心的幫助他人，從他人角度想問題時(shí)，沮喪也就不復(fù)存在了。沮喪是一個(gè)內(nèi)化的情感，當(dāng)我們只關(guān)注自己時(shí)才會(huì)有如此糟糕的感覺。然而當(dāng)我們停止考慮自己，開始轉(zhuǎn)向幫助別人的時(shí)候，一切都好起來了。
