If you get decent value from making to-do lists, you'll get huge returns — in productivity, in improved relationships, and in your personal well-being — from adding these items to your not to-do list:如果你寫待辦事項會將工作完成的很好，那把下面這些事加到“拒做清單”上會在效率、關系改善，以及個人幸福上得到很大回報。

Every day, make the commitment not to:每一天都跟自己承諾絕不做：

1. Check my phone while I'm talking to someone.1. 不邊和別人說話邊看手機

You've played the, "Is that your phone? Oh, it must be mine," game. You've tried the you-think-sly-but-actually-really-obvious downwards glance. You've done the, "Wait, let me answer this text..." thing。你玩過這種把戲：“是你的電話響嗎?哦，一定是我的”。你以為偷瞄下手機沒什么，其實動作很明顯。你說過“等一下，讓我回個短信”這樣的話。

Maybe you didn't even say, "Wait." You just stopped talking, stopped paying attention, and did it。也許你甚至沒有說：“請等我一下”就不說話了，不再認真聽，看了手機。

Stop checking your phone. It doesn't notice when you aren't paying attention。別再看手機了。你分心時它不會察覺。

Other people? They notice。但別人會注意。

And they care。而且他們在意。

2. Multitask during a meeting.2. 開會時做很多事

The easiest way to be the smartest person in the room is to be the person who pays the most attention to the room。在會議室里做最聰明的人的最簡單方法是做最用心聽的人。

You'll be amazed by what you can learn, both about the topic of the meeting and about the people in the meeting if you stop multitasking and start paying close attention. You'll understand hidden agendas, you'll spot opportunities to build bridges, and you'll find ways to make yourself indispensable to the people who matter。如果你停下手中的事開始密切關注會議的話，你會驚訝自己能在會議內容和參會的人中學到的東西。你會明白議程背后的東西，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)搭建人脈的機會，而且你會找到讓自己對重要人物不可或缺的辦法。

It's easy, because you'll be the only one trying。這很容易做到，因為只有你一個人會嘗試。

And you'll be the only one succeeding on multiple levels。而且你將會是唯一在多個層面成功的人。

3. Think about people who don't make any difference in my life.3. 關心對你生活沒有影響的人

Trust me: The inhabitants of planet Kardashian are okay without you。相信我：沒有你，外星球的居民們一樣會過得很好。

But your family, your friends, your employees--all the people that really matter to you--are not.Give them your time and attention。但你的家人、朋友、員工(所有對你很重要的人)不會。花時間多關注他們吧。

They're the ones who deserve it。他們應該得到你的關心。

4. Use multiple notifications.4. 設置很多消息通知

You don't need to know the instant you get an email. Or a text. Or a tweet. Or anything else that pops up on your phone or computer。你沒必要立即知道你收到了郵件、短信、推特，還是任何出現(xiàn)在你手機里和電腦上的消息。

If something is important enough for you to do, it's important enough for you to do without interruptions. Focus totally on what you're doing. Then, on a schedule you set--instead of a schedule you let everyone else set--play prairie dog and pop your head upto see what's happening。如果有些事真的很重要，你不會在做的過程中被打斷。全神貫注做手中的事情。然后按你自己定的計劃——而不是讓別人決定——看看發(fā)生了什么事。

And then get right back to work. Focusing on what you are doing is a lot more important than focusing on other people might be doing。然后回到工作中。專心做自己的事比關心別人做什么重要的多。

They can wait. You, and what is truly important to you, cannot�？梢宰寗e人等。但你，以及真正對你重要的事，是等不了的。

5. Let the past dictate the future.5. 讓過去決定未來

Mistakes are valuable. Learn from them.Then let them go。錯誤很寶貴。從錯誤中學習。然后就放下吧。

Easier said than done? It all depends on your perspective. When something goes wrong, turn it into an opportunity to learn something you didn't know--especially about yourself。說起來容易做起來難?這完全取決于你怎么想。如果你犯了錯，把它當成學習未知的機會——尤其是認識自己。

When something goes wrong for someone else, turn it into an opportunity to be gracious, forgiving, and understanding。如果別人犯了錯，把錯誤變成體現(xiàn)你親切、寬容、理解他人的機會。

The past is just training. The past should definitely inform but in no way define you —unless you let it。過去只是鍛煉。過去會告訴你信息，卻不能界定你——除非你讓它這么做。

6. Wait until I'm sure I will succeed.6. 直到確定能成功再做

You can never feel sure you will succeed at something new, but you can always feel sure you are committed to giving something your best.And you can always feel sure you will try again if you fail。對于新生事物，你無法保證自己一定能成功，但是你總能確定自己盡最大努力去做了。而且你能確保自己在失敗后繼續(xù)嘗試。

Stop waiting. You have a lot less to lose than you think, and everything to gain。別再等了。你沒有那么多的東西要失去，但可以得到很多。

7. Talk behind someone's back.7. 在背后說人是非

If only because being the focus of gossip sucks. (And so do the people who gossip。)只是因為成為八卦中心太糟。(聊別人八卦的也不好)

If you've talked to more than one person about something Joe is doing, wouldn't everyone be better off if you stepped up and actually talked to Joe about it? And if it's "not your place" to talk to Joe, it's probably not your place to talk about Joe。如果你不只跟一個人說喬正在做的事，你跟他本人說不是對大家都更好嗎?如果你不方便和喬討論，那么你或許不應該說他閑話。

Spend your time on productive conversations. You'll get a lot more done--and you'll gain a lot more respect。把時間花在更有用的對話中吧。你會做好更多事，并且贏得更多尊敬。

8. Say "yes" when I really mean "no."8. 口是心非

Refusing a request from colleagues, customers, or even friends is really hard. But rarely does saying no go as badly as you expect. Most people will understand, and if they don't, should you care too much about what they think?拒絕同事、顧客、甚至是朋友的請求真的很難。但是說“不”很少會像你想的那么糟。大多數(shù)人會理解的，而且如果他們不理解的話，你也沒必要太關心別人的想法吧?

When you say no, at least you'll only feel bad for a few moments. When you say yes to something you really don't want to do you might feel bad for a long time。當你拒絕別人時，你只會難過一會。而當你同意了不想做的事時，你會難過很久。