American men still don't pull their weight when it comes to housework and child care, but collectively they're not the slackers they used to be. The average dad has gradually been getting better about picking himself up off the sofa and pitching in, according to a new report in which a psychologist suggests the payoff for doing more chores could be more sex.
The report, released Thursday by the Council on Contemporary Families, summarizes several recent studies on family dynamics. One found that men's contribution to housework had doubled over the past four decades; another found they tripled the time spent on child care over that span。
"More couples are sharing family tasks than ever before, and the movement toward sharing has been especially significant for full-time dual-earner couples," the report says. "Men and women may not be fully equal yet, but the rules of the game have been profoundly and irreversibly changed."
Some couples have forged partnerships they consider fully equitable。
"We'll both talk about how we're so lucky to have someone who does more than their share," said Mary Melchoir, a fundraiser for the National Organization for Women, who — like her lawyer husband — works full-time while raising 6-year-old triplets。
"He's the one who makes breakfast and folds the laundry," said Melchoir, 47. "I'm the one who fixes things around the house."
Joshua Coleman, a psychologist from San Francisco and author of "The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework," said equitable sharing of housework can lead to a happier marriage and more frequent sex。
"If a guy does housework, it looks to the woman like he really cares about her — he's not treating her like a servant," said Coleman. "And if a woman feels stressed out because the house is a mess and the guy's sitting on the couch while she's vacuuming, that's not going to put her in the mood."
In the U.S., time-use diary studies show that since the '60s, men's contribution to housework doubled from about 15 percent to more than 30 percent of the total. Over the same period, the average working mother reduced her weekly housework load by two hours。
Between 1965 and 2003, men tripled the amount of time they spent on child care. During the same period, women also increased the time spent with their children, suggesting mutual interest in a more hands-on approach to child-raising。
如今，美國男性在做家務(wù)和照看孩子方面仍然不夠盡職盡責(zé)。但總的來說，他們不再像過去那么愛偷懶了。一項(xiàng)最新報告顯示，普通男性在分擔(dān)家務(wù)方面的主動性逐漸提高。一位心理學(xué)家在報告中提到，男性多做家務(wù)能得到更多“性福”。
現(xiàn)代家庭學(xué)會于本周四公布了這項(xiàng)報告。該報告總結(jié)了幾項(xiàng)有關(guān)家庭動態(tài)的最新研究。其中一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，在過去四十年中，男性所做的家務(wù)量增加了一倍;另一項(xiàng)研究表明，男性照看孩子的時間在這一時期內(nèi)增加了兩倍。
報告指出：“與以前相比，如今有更多的夫婦共同分擔(dān)家務(wù)，而且這一趨勢在雙職工家庭中尤為明顯�？赡苣行院团灾g仍然沒有達(dá)到完全的平等，但游戲規(guī)則已徹底改變。”
而有些夫婦之間則形成了他們所認(rèn)為的一種“完全平等”關(guān)系。
全國婦女組織的資金籌集人瑪麗•梅爾考爾和她的丈夫都是全職律師，他們同時還要撫養(yǎng)六歲的三胞胎。瑪麗說：“我們都會感慨自己很幸運(yùn)，因?yàn)槲覀兌急M量多分擔(dān)一些家務(wù)。”
47歲的梅爾考爾說：“他負(fù)責(zé)做早餐和疊衣服。我負(fù)責(zé)收拾房間。”
來自舊金山的心理學(xué)家、《懶丈夫：如何提高男人做家務(wù)和看孩子的積極性》一書的作者約瑟華•科爾曼說，兩人平等分擔(dān)家務(wù)有利于婚姻幸福，并能讓男性得到更多“性福”。
科爾曼說：“如果丈夫做家務(wù)，會讓妻子覺得對方真的在乎她——沒把她當(dāng)成傭人。如果妻子看到房間里亂糟糟而感到緊張，但她在打掃房間時，丈夫卻若無其事地坐在沙發(fā)上，這會影響她的情緒。”
美國的“時間使用日記”調(diào)查顯示，從上世紀(jì)60年代至今，男性所分擔(dān)的家務(wù)活比例翻了一番，從約15%增長至30%多。而在這一時期內(nèi)，普通職業(yè)媽媽每周料理家務(wù)的時間則減少了兩小時。
從1965年至2003年，男性照看孩子的時間增加了兩倍。女性照看孩子的時間在這一時期內(nèi)也有所增加，這說明父母雙方都越來越注重“親自育兒”。
