Loneliness is a feeling I know very well. I live in an apartment with no one but my dog, and I don’t get a whole lot of company because most of my friends have moved to another town, got married and had a family, or simply lost touch due to life happening. As someone who considers himself a loner, I loved the peace and quiet at first, but I found myself feeling very lonely within a few months. 我對孤獨有著切身體會:一人一室一狗,少有陪伴。許多朋友都搬到了其他城市,結婚生子過日子,有些也因生活變遷而失去了聯(lián)系。我自認為是個獨行俠,剛開始也很享受平和與安靜;可接下來幾個月,我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己常常感到孤獨。
My space went from clean to chaos, my productivity crashed and burned, my thoughts took a turn for the worse, and I couldn’t find much interest in anything more than watching movies on Netflix. After living a few months in a haze of sloth, I realized I had a serious problem and decided to learn how to live a happy life alone. This article tackles six key things I learned along the way。房間開始變得凌亂不堪、效率低下、情緒低落,除了在Netflix上看電影,我對任何事都提不起興趣。過了幾個月的混沌日子后,我感到自己很有問題,必須學會一個人也能過得開心才行。下面就是我領悟到的六個方法。
1. Take Care of Your Home保持房間整潔
When you’re not around other people, it is easy to lose interest in tidying up your home. You might find yourself with a sky high pile of dishes and mountains of clutter everywhere you turn if you’re not careful. Even if you don’t have a roommate or company that frequently walks in your door, it is in your best interest to clean house at least once per week. 一個人生活時,很容易馬虎應付房間整理。如果得過且過,家里很快就堆了成疊的盤子和雜物。哪怕很少有室友或朋友來串門,每周至少也得打掃一次房間。
If your home is a disorganized wreck, expect to feel stressed out as soon as you walk in the door. A clean home free from clutter will help you feel happy and organized。要是家里亂七八糟,一進門肯定會感到頭大。干凈整潔的房間才會使你井然有序、心情愉悅。
2. Find Beauty in the Ordinary從平凡中發(fā)現(xiàn)美好
If you don’t see beauty in your world, you’re not looking hard enough. If you’re home alone and feeling down, walk outside and spend some time with nature. Watch the birds fly and admire their elaborate flight formation. Listen to dogs barking at each other in the neighborhood and think to yourself, “I wonder what they could possibly be talking about?”覺得自己的世界毫無美好可言?那你肯定沒用心發(fā)掘。當你獨自蝸居在家、感到心情抑郁時,何不出門多接觸大自然?看小鳥掠過天空,感嘆它們高超的飛翔技術;聽鄰里狗兒相互吠叫,猜測“這些家伙都在討論啥?”
Look at that big, old tree that is the size of a giant (and if you’re feeling limber, why not try to climb it?). Plant some flowers, a vegetable garden, or a small tree in your back yard. Go to the park, walk on a nature trail, clear your thoughts, listen to the sounds of the forest, and be in awe of the beauty that’s right in front of you。仰望那棵碩壯老樹,想象它是一個巨人[微博],要是身手靈活,還可以試試爬上去;在后園種點花草蔬菜或小樹;去公園散散步,邊聆聽森林呼吸邊整理思緒,為眼前美景而驚嘆。
3. Watch Out for Noisy Thoughts謹防胡思亂想
Your thoughts can be your best friend and worst enemy. Have you ever noticed that if you find yourself thinking even a single negative thought, it inevitably spirals out of control until you have a nasty chorus of Mental Monsters taking over your brain? If you find yourself thinking, “I feel so lonely right now,” it’s easy to keep that thought process going in the wrong direction until thoughts like, “I will always be alone,” or “no one will ever love me,” creep up on you。思想既是益友又是勁敵。你注意到?jīng)]有:只要腦中閃過一絲消極念頭,就會引起惡性循環(huán),直到自己完全被心理惡魔打倒才罷休?當你自認為“我此刻很孤獨”時,消極想法便很容易蔓延,最后你甚至覺得“我永遠都會這么孤單”或“永遠也不會有人愛上我”。
Be aware of what you’re thinking about and stop your negative thoughts before they grow into Mental Monsters that are much harder to control. If you find yourself stressing out, do something that relaxes you. Light some candles or incense, take a nice hot bubble bath, perform some gentle yoga poses, or play soothing music。因此,你必須留意自己的想法,謹防消極念頭演變成無法控制的心理惡魔。緊張煩躁時,去做點能讓自己放松的事情。點上蠟燭熏香,泡個熱騰的泡泡澡,練練瑜伽,或奏一曲舒緩的音樂。
4. Reduce Mindless Consumption減少漫無目的的損耗
Being aware of world events is totally okay, but becoming addicted to the news is a sure-fire way to sink your mood. Limit your news consumption to a small handful of articles per day because there is no reason to bury yourself in depressing news stories for hours on end. 了解世界新聞無可厚非,但完全沉浸其中無疑是自討無趣。每天限制只讀幾篇新聞報道,畢竟,沒必要把時間浪費在眾多負面新聞中。
Watching television is fine in moderation, but spending all of your free hours in front of the tube will do nothing to help you grow or feel better. Read a classic novel you adored in high school, go to a local community theater to enjoy a racy comedy or Shakespearean tragedy, and exercise at least every other day to keep your mind and body at the top of their game。適當看看電視也挺不錯,但若把所有閑暇時間都耗在電視機面前,既不利于成長,也影響情緒。不如讀一本高中就喜歡的經(jīng)典小說,去社區(qū)劇院看一場歡樂喜劇或莎翁悲劇,隔天鍛煉健身,讓身心永遠保持良好狀態(tài)。
5. Create Something of Value創(chuàng)造價值
The best way to feel happy alone is to spend your time creating something that brings you joy. You could write a novel or self-help book and self-publish it on Amazon, start a blog about a topic that fascinates you, go the the park and paint a landscape to hang on your wall, or learn a new language, like German or Spanish. 單身想要過得開心,最好的辦法就是創(chuàng)造能給自己帶來快樂的東西。你可以嘗試寫小說或自助讀本,然后在亞馬遜上出版;或針對喜歡的話題開一欄博客,去公園寫生并把畫作掛在墻上,學一門新語言(例如德語或西班牙語)。
Sometimes it is hard to motivate ourselves to get to work creating at home, so if you’re feeling a lack of inspiration, pack up your notebook and laptop for a field-trip to a park, coffee shop, or downtown bench. A simple change of scenery can do wonders for your productivity。有時一個人在家往往缺乏主動創(chuàng)新的動力,所以,要是覺得沒靈感,可以帶上電腦和筆記本,去公園、咖啡館或市內長椅坐坐。簡單的環(huán)境改變也能大大提高效率。
6. Treat Yourself to a Hot Date與自己約會
Who says you can’t go to a movie or eat out by yourself? I love treating myself to hot dates because I can choose to go wherever I desire without considering anyone else’s opinion. Going out by yourself will help you become comfortable with being alone。誰說單身就不能看電影或吃大餐了?我就很喜歡和自己約會。因為我可以隨心選擇自己喜歡的地方,不必顧慮他人想法。一個人出行可以讓你更自在地享受單身狀態(tài)。
Have you ever felt so lonely that you didn’t know what to do with yourself?有時候,你是不是覺得自己特孤單,真不知道該怎么辦?
If so, what did you do about it? Having friends and family is great but we all need to learn how to live a happy life alone. Please share any tips you have for the single folks who are reading this!這時你是怎么做的呢?身邊有親人朋友陪伴固然美好,但我們也應該學會一個人也能過得開心。如果你有什么建議給單身朋友,請分享吧!